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[Fiction] R3P0 (part 1) --- Thoughts Appreciated =)

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:46 am
by Made in DNA
Opening to a new short story I am working on. Repomen of software and cybernetic hardware of the future. As this crowd likes robots and the like, I am positive members here will get a kick out of this.

No need to go into any depth with thoughts. Just your general thoughts are fine. Please? =)

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R3P0
© 2007 Made in DNA

[Part 1: Nailed]

The whole scene would have been comical if it had been something from a movie. But it wasn't. And the fact was not slow in dawning on Donovan. He was scared shitless. Actually that was not quite right either for Donovan had already emptied both his bladder and bowels. Donovan was hardly to blame though. It's not every day you have your ears and the webbing between your fingers nailgunned to the floor of your own apartment.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do to remedy his situation. The perpetrator of the deed still held the nailgun to Donovan's head and had pointedly shot three nails in rapid succession into the floor next to it. If he had not been convinced by the initial nailings, both men were pretty sure the nail that had gouged a long, nasty cut into Donovan's temple, creating a bothersome trickle of blood flow into Donovan's eye, would have.

"Don't move." Nailgun Man had spoke since the first moment he had appeared at Donovan's door.

Perhaps, Donovan thought, if the man had just communicated his intensions when he had opened the door to his apartment, he wouldn't have struggled with the man. Donovan didn't consider himself an unreasonable man after all.

In any case, he didn't move. The back of his shaved and tattooed head gleamed brightly, slick with sweat under the naked bulb of his hovel. His cyber implant access I/O port was exposed at just the right angle.

Nailgun Man smiled, examining his handiwork. No wasted shots, no re-shots, and a minimum of blood. He reckoned there were very few people who could be as precise. Such talent. Such balance. Artistic and stylish. And yet, he lamented, nowhere to share. Pity. C'est la vie.

Whipping away his breakaway pants with the practiced flair of a matador, Nailgun Man laid them nicely over the one chair in his victim's room. To tell the truth, no matter how many times he did it, the move always inspired in him the urge to yell 'Toro! Toro!' at the top of his lungs. He giggled outloud to himself.

Without the breakaway pants, he was naked below the waist, exposing an oversized, bulbous pouch of folded flesh, that jutted out from his groin, giving him a slightly bowlegged appearance. Positioning himself over his squirming prey, he squatted slightly--the toned muscles of his legs defining themselves--and concentrated.

Slowly--almost sleepily--from the folds of the pouch, a translucent bioplastik I/O connector snaked its way outward, down toward Donovan as if charmed by the rhythm of a flute only available on tap in Nailgun Man's mind. It glowed a soft pink-red of heat and desire, extending itself from deep in his abdomen, and slithered up the pinned man's back toward the I/O port.

Muffled, panicked screams clawed their way from the man's throat, like the desperately drowning trapped beneath ice-covered waters. But all was for naught. The connector lovingly traced the outline of its port-mate, reared up, and slammed home with a satisfying click.

Rearing his head in protest, Donovan ripped long ruts through both ears, and a scream skittered like a frightened spider down the corridors of the housing project surrounding him.

His head quivered in protest as he fought the invasion to no avail. His ears flopped like a dog’s panting tongue. Blood dangled from dripping flesh.

"There, there," cooed the Nailgun Man laying his weapon down. "All over now my sweatmeat."

Donovan's eyes glossed over the forced extraction of the software from his cybernetic brain began to drain like runny yoke from eggs overeasy.

The snake changed colors, now pulsating in segmented blue hues that traveled up into the pouch. Nailgun Man began to squeeze his buttock muscles in pleasure, throwing his head back as he did so. Having wired the extraction program to the pleasure center of his own brain, ecstasy increased with every gigabyte extracted. Until it all eventually worked itself into an imploding orgasm that set him ablaze.


[More @ http://www.writerscafe.org/profile/Made%20in%20DNA/]

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:13 pm
by Artemio
It is disturbing and interesting at the same time. I must say I like your style of writing, introspective to the characters. It is not easy to do that. Thanks for sharing =)

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:32 pm
by Made in DNA
Thanks. Part two is ready (it just needs to be posted), and I am working on part three. It's a short story, so I can't envision it'll be more than 6000 to 7000 words, it that.
Snatcher wrote:It is disturbing and interesting at the same time. I must say I like your style of writing, introspective to the characters. It is not easy to do that. Thanks for sharing =)

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:19 am
by Snake Plissken
It takes me back to Vietnam all over again. Lookin' tastey.

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 7:30 am
by ShinjiPG
It has this homosexual feeling, you know... xD
But it's interesting. I don't quite know what to expect from the next chapters, tho :P

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:26 pm
by shidoni
I like this story.

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:47 am
by Made in DNA
Glad I could be of service. ;) Second part is up at the URL listed above. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Kindest regards,
Made in DNA
Snake Plissken wrote:It takes me back to Vietnam all over again. Lookin' tastey.

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:50 am
by Made in DNA
HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, well, it's just a squirm factor for ya. While it certainly does have a Freudian homosexual theme in the first section, the rest of the work is fairly asexual.

Part two is already up at the URL noted in the original. Please read on. Anonymous commmenting (directly at that site) enabled.

Kindest regards,
Made in DNA


ShinjiPG wrote:It has this homosexual feeling, you know... xD
But it's interesting. I don't quite know what to expect from the next chapters, tho :P

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:51 am
by Made in DNA
Thank you much. Part two is already up at the URL noted in the original. Please read on. Anonymous commmenting (directly at that site) enabled. Or feel free to message back here too.
shidoni wrote:I like this story.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:22 pm
by Made in DNA
Parts 2 3 and 4 are now up, and getting great reviews. Guest/anonymous comments are also welcome.

To read subsequent parts of this cyber pulp fiction serial, just click on the original part 1 and go to the bottom. Each story is linked to the other parts for ease of reading.

I would love to hear more about what you all hear think as you are my target audience so to speak.

Kindest regards,
Made in DNA