• Predict the Official Release Date 4 Policenauts Patch •

[James_The_Stampede]

I think in our own way, we're all winners.

I'll say! See, the thing I've learned throughout this entire project is that you need to keep hope alive. It's not about "when" the patch will be released, nor is it about my amazing sexual prowess.. no. It's about hope. Along the way, I've met some amazing people, like Artemio, Marc, Slowbeef, and my pet meerkat coco. Times have been tough, battles have been fought, won and/or lost, but we all stuck alongside each other until the bitter end, like a community "Thelma and Louise". Even after fucking Brad Pitt, we realized that this is all about friends... oh yea, and hope. Can't forget hope.

So, yes slowbeef. We are all winners. Except for you, because you just lost the game.

[Rokuro]

Calm down guys lol

[slowbeef]

So, yes slowbeef. We are all winners. Except for you, because you just lost the game.

At least I never had to help translate The Game from Japanese.

[Henry Spencer]

Wow guys, as I'm the winner and playing through it right now, I have to say it's a real masterpiece.



I want my little cousin to play this though, but he's only eight, could we perhaps have a parental control implemented into it, so all the boobies and naughty stuff be removed? I work for the BBFC you see and found the content, inappropriate for retards. Just do me this favour and then release it right away!

[Charlie Johnson]

No.

[slowbeef]

Just do me this favour and then release it right away!

You can't. It actually wouldn't be hard to remove almost all of the boob-grabbing stuff, but there's one scene where you can't get around it and it's actually not programmed like anything else.

Believe it or not, I did consider this, but then I figured I'd be a little disappointed if I looked at the download stats for both the custom PG-13 version and the original.

(Besides, there really isn't anything that explicit in Policenauts. If you've played Soul Calibur IV, you've seen a lot more than Policenauts will show you.)

[Rokuro]

Spoiler:

[best name ever]

Just do me this favour and then release it right away!

You can't. It actually wouldn't be hard to remove almost all of the boob-grabbing stuff, but there's one scene where you can't get around it and it's actually not programmed like anything else.

Believe it or not, I did consider this, but then I figured I'd be a little disappointed if I looked at the download stats for both the custom PG-13 version and the original.

(Besides, there really isn't anything that explicit in Policenauts. If you've played Soul Calibur IV, you've seen a lot more than Policenauts will show you.)

That would be awesome if you were able to get rid of that because I!!!REALLY!!! Hate things like that in games I am still planning on buying it but it would be very AWESOME! if there were a patch to get rid of that crap

[Marc]

If you don't click on those places then you can avoid 99% of that stuff. There's only one time when you can't, and you could argue it was unavoidable for the people involved. (I'm trying not to spoil anything.)

[best name ever]

If you don't click on those places then you can avoid 99% of that stuff. There's only one time when you can't, and you could argue it was unavoidable for the people involved. (I'm trying not to spoil anything.)

But still It would be !!VERY!! nice to have it know that you can't exedentley click on those spots

[Marc]

Jonathan Ingram would approve of your choice of "accidentally".

[Project_Noah]

Why take the fun out of boob-grabbin'? Srsly. I love me some boob-grabbing.

[Elrich2k3]

That would be awesome if you were able to get rid of that because I!!!REALLY!!! Hate things like that in games I am still planning on buying it but it would be very AWESOME! if there were a patch to get rid of that crap

Good idea! And while we're at it, we'll hop a plane to Florence, break into the Accademia di Belle Arti, and take a chisel to Michelangelo's David's naughty bits, and paint big black 'Censored' bars across the breasts on The Rape of the Sabine Women.

Seriously, we already have a censored Snatcher floating around. It would be horrible if some future civilization were to unearth the "PG-13" version and believe that it was representative of the creator's actual vision, because the original version had been lost.

[best name ever]

That would be awesome if you were able to get rid of that because I!!!REALLY!!! Hate things like that in games I am still planning on buying it but it would be very AWESOME! if there were a patch to get rid of that crap

Good idea! And while we're at it, we'll hop a plane to Florence, break into the Accademia di Belle Arti, and take a chisel to Michelangelo's David's naughty bits, and paint big black 'Censored' bars across the breasts on The Rape of the Sabine Women.

Seriously, we already have a censored Snatcher floating around. It would be horrible if some future civilization were to unearth the "PG-13" version and believe that it was representative of the creator's actual vision, because the original version had been lost.

~Elrich2k3, who can not believe that there are people for the censorship of masterpieces.

Man there’s no reason to get angry It's not like you have to play the version if they make it and they probably won’t make it any ways

[Artemio]

Why take the fun out of boob-grabbin'? Srsly. I love me some boob-grabbing.

Who doesn't?

Besides part of the goal of this translation is being as close as possible to the original experience.

[Project_Noah]

Who doesn't?

Besides part of the goal of this translation is being as close as possible to the original experience.

Right on, my good man!

[The Spoony Hou]

Why take the fun out of boob-grabbin'? Srsly. I love me some boob-grabbing.

Right on, girl!

This game is like real life, you can grab some boobies if you want, and then get yelled at and slapped silly.

Well, it's like my life, at least.

[Henry Spencer]

If you don't click on those places then you can avoid 99% of that stuff. There's only one time when you can't, and you could argue it was unavoidable for the people involved. (I'm trying not to spoil anything.)

But still It would be !!VERY!! nice to have it know that you can't exedentley click on those spots

Seriously dude, I was only jesting. That's cool that you work for the "breast touching control agency" though. If it's done tastefully, then I don't see the problem. Horny Kojima just couldn't control his urges when creating this game, obviously (heck, they even used the same game engine for that Tokimeki Hentai Fun Game).

[Supergrom]

I'm 100% in favor of keeping the game in its original form as much as possible... but seriously, grabbing breasts and "tasteful" in the same sentence?

[slowbeef]

I'm 100% in favor of keeping the game in its original form as much as possible... but seriously, grabbing breasts and "tasteful" in the same sentence?

We fixed a bug in the original that caused the game to crash. I hope no one complains about not leaving that in!

(Also a couple graphical glitches, too.)

[Phenomenal Flea]

February 11th 201... wait, what?

We fixed a bug in the original that caused the game to crash. I hope no one complains about not leaving that in!

(Also a couple graphical glitches, too.)

... *sniff*

Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep, you cold-blooded bug murderer!

[Junker_05]

I think the patch will either go one of a few ways:

A - the patch gets released very soon and they fix this "one bug" that's been fucking with the whole thing for months now.
B - the patch gets released within the next 12-24 months after all bugs have been fixed.
C - the patch gets its name added to that very long list people like to call "vaporware".

Pardon me if I seem cynical, but that's how I see it.

[slowbeef]

I think the patch will either go one of a few ways:

A - the patch gets released very soon and they fix this "one bug" that's been fucking with the whole thing for months now.
B - the patch gets released within the next 12-24 months after all bugs have been fixed.
C - the patch gets its name added to that very long list people like to call "vaporware".

Pardon me if I seem cynical, but that's how I see it.

So it's either very soon, 12-24 months, or never? Those are the only options? What about all the space between very soon and 12 months?

[Junker_05]

So it's either very soon, 12-24 months, or never? Those are the only options? What about all the space between very soon and 12 months?

Almost 9 months of that have already gone by.

[slowbeef]

Your math is off.

Either way, you were sorta right and it was Option A.